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ya just gotta keep on keepin on.... [Jun. 22nd, 2007|12:19 am]
[Current Location |home]
[I feel... |contemplativecontemplative]
[Music |good riddance]

Love is like a fire, it goes out sometimes.

i liked that, so i figured i'd share it with everyone.
mucho love.


(no subject) [May. 15th, 2007|07:54 pm]
I need to learn this:

Being vulnerable is part of being in a relationship. It can feel scary, but it's a testimony to trust -- not only the trust you have in your partner, but the trust you have for yourself to deal with it. You can do it. 

My horoscope for the day and it's totally right.

(no subject) [Mar. 8th, 2007|06:33 am]
I really don't give a fuck anymore.
I don't I don't I don't.
I'm really getting tired of this shit.
link1 commented|COMMENT!!

I hate fake fucks. [Mar. 5th, 2007|10:44 pm]
[Current Location |my room. boom chicka.]
[I feel... |coldcold]
[Music |none, d00d.]

So life is pretty intense.
That's really all I have to say.
I'm so glad spring break starts friday.
I've got some free time.
Anyone wanna chill?
I'm up for just about anything.

Oh, I don't have a cell for the time being.
I'm getting a new one in a couple of days.
Same number & everything.
So if you call me, leave a message.
With your # and whatnot. Please?

I'm cold. & I'm going to bed.
link1 commented|COMMENT!!

(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2007|04:33 pm]
I think I want to move back to GA. 
I'm seriously concidering it. I don't like Fla.
I think it sucks, hardcore. 
I mean I know I have a great family, and great friends and a good boyfriend.
I just can't stand it here.
And I think I'm willing to just up and leave.
My mom does it, so why can't I?

New hairrrrr, homiessss. [Feb. 7th, 2007|02:20 pm]
[Current Location |home]
[I feel... |bouncybouncy but sick]
[Music |lifehouse you and me.]

My new hair, sorry for not putting them in a LJ cut you guys, but it wont work, because of the stupid new formatting crap stuff they have going on.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
You can't really see it much, but you can see the diffrece from before.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
we've both got new hair, it's crazy.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I'm not sure if I like it or not.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Opinions? ..Anyone?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I guess it isn't so bad, people say they like it, but I don't know if I do or not. I guess it just takes some getting used to. I miss the long ness tho, it was soooo long!!!!! =(.
Anways I have crap I need to be doing, Peace!
link4 comments|COMMENT!!

What I'm best at -- Pushing people away. [Jan. 28th, 2007|01:21 am]
[Current Location |my room]
[I feel... |tiredtired]
[Music |rosanne]

Yeah, it is what I'm the best at, and it's not something good that I do, it just happends. 
I started to push Cory away not too long ago, like I've done to all of my ex boyfriends, I just instantly start tp push them away. Heather caught me and told me I needed to stop though, she was all "nooo sam, stop. don't do this again, you do it everytime."
And I do, but I stopped. Shes always told me to cut it out, and I usually do, but I don't think I understand why I do that.
Fear of attachment? Or getting hurt? Something more? Something less? A combination?
Who knows. I mean I sure as hell don't.
Things will be going great, and then.. out of no where I don't want to see the person, in  a way I dread seeing them, I start to get annoyed easy... Just so many things, but all negative. Although things are perfectly fine, and the person makes me more than happy, it doesn't matter, I still do it. Why?
Good question.

Anyways. We went to the monster jam thing, and it was pretty cool. We did this tailgating thing before hand, which was alright. It would have been better if I had someone to chill with the whole time, but I really didn't. I listened to music the whole time, or talked on my phone a little bit, and caught up with my uncle untill Cory & Eddie showed up. I didn't hang out with them too long though, I would have but I had to chill with my family and he had to chill with his dad, so yeah. But all in all it was pretty fun.
I've got tons and tons of pictures, I'll post them some other time, although they'll probrobly be on myspace before they end up on here, but then again you never know.

Well, I guess I'm going to call cory and go to bed.
Goodnight loves &hearts;

stupid bitches. [Jan. 16th, 2007|08:20 pm]
[Current Location |home]
[I feel... |pissed offpissed off]
[Music |nadda]

My eye itches, really bad. I must be allergic to something in this house. 
Hmm. Things are going pretty good. Cory and I are amazing. School is okay. I'm passing all of my classes except American history. But that sucks balls anyways.
Uhhhmm. Heather and I are figthing because she doen't believe me, like always. Which is her own fault.
I'm tired of being friends with girls, they're too much trouble, and drama and bullshit.
Only a select few are okay. If you're my friend and you're a female, you're fucking lucky. I don't know why, but I can't stand most girls. Bottom line. 
I hate drama, I hate backstabbing, I hate bullshit, I can't stand being on the phone talking about stupid shit for hours, I don't even like calling people. I hate gossip, I don't even really like clothes shopping for crists sake. Yes I have my girly moments, & I can talk my "shit," but 99% of the time, the "shit" is true. Not the omgzletsseehowfarthisgets type of shit.
Plus, half the girls I know, open there legs like you spread creamy peanut butter on a slice of bread. And I wont have that rep, and I'm tired of guys thinking I'm like people I chill with. 
I'm sorry I'm such a bitch, well, I'm really not sorry, I couldn't care less, but if you don't like it that's just too bad. I don't care what you think of me and I don't care if you like me. I'm tired of the bullshit, and I'm tired of people not believing me when I'm just trying to look out for them. I'm tired of watching people fall and hit fucking rock bottem and then they want my help when I was supposivly "wrong all along." And the whole fucking time I was the bad guy, but I end up being right and now they want me to be there for them after I already tried and they wouldn't listen.
I'm sick of being made out as the bad guy when I'm really not. I'm sick of being the "bitch" when I'm really not trying to be, I'm just trying to help.
I know. I'm just done helping people and getting nothing but shit for it.
When I turn 18, I'm moving out of Orlando, Fuck everyone.
Besides my family.
I'm fucking serious.

link6 comments|COMMENT!!

I hope things keep going like this. [Dec. 18th, 2006|03:18 am]
[Current Location |Corys <3]
[I feel... |crazycrazy]
[Music |Nadda, water running, &i've got to pee!!]

Things just keep getting better and better ♥.

Dedication. [Dec. 14th, 2006|11:58 pm]
[Current Location |my room]
[I feel... |okayalright]
[Music |the fog (movie)]

Here's to all the girls...

     Who used to be his number one.
     The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. 
     We deserve something & this is our tribute. 
     Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, heard stuff from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. You started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. 
     This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours or a few days. Here's for the tears cried & dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found "the one" for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. 
     Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if". This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and got him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time." 
     Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to. One that would come see us whenever he got the chance. One that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. 
     Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never cared about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. 
     Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. 
     Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but it will heal. 

It's really long, but I like it. It makes scence. I doubt anyone will read it, but I don't really care.
link2 comments|COMMENT!!

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